Greenspan Admits Error
By Sally Purple

Three years after an eighteen year career of advocating the power of the free market and eliminating financial regulations, former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has admitted that his free-market ideology was at least “partially” wrong. This admission was made before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, who grilled him on Thursday in the wake of the global credit crisis.

“Those of us who have looked to the self-interest of lending institutions to protect shareholders’ equity, myself included, are in a state of shocked disbelief,” he stated. Democratic representatives badgered Greenspan for hours, attempting to distance themselves from any possible involvement in the crisis themselves.

He later made an appearance at the House Committee on Scapegoating and Unwillingness to Prevent Future Catastrophes, where he placed all of the blame on irresponsible bankers. Said bankers are to appear before the committee on Friday where they are expected to blame consistently low interest rates, competition with China, and Margaret Atwood.