Certain Broadcasting Conundrums

By Quentin Albatross

It has been revealed that the CBC is going to make significant cuts to its upcoming fall programming line. Classic CBC series such as This Hour Has 22 Minutes are facing significant reductions in the number of episodes being commissioned by the broadcaster, and newer shows like The Border are being scrapped entirely. The CBC has long taken criticism for being too bland and not adjusting its programming to the demands of the television market. The CBC has slowly begun to wake up to these demands over the past several years, and with some notable success stories. Last year's two biggest hits were the returning series The Dragon's Den, and the new reality sensation Battle of the Blades; both will be returning this fall. But the CBC is not stopping there.

A leaked CBC memo has indicated that the broadcaster is intending to reach out to a younger audience with an edgy new series of programs. One new show that is rumoured to be in production is called The Vinyl Cafe: After Hours. This made-for-TV adaptation of the hit radio series features Stewart McLean reading from his previously unreleased collection of erotic fiction while chain-smoking and sweating profusely. Other new fall CBC programs may include Little Terrorist Training Cell On the Prairie, a riveting crime thriller that is set in Churchill, Manitoba, and Rocks That Look Like Boobs, with environmentalist sensation David Suzuki.

Congo's Capital

By Sally Purple

Desperate for cash to fight the rebel insurgency, the reigning government of the Democratic Republic of Congo has launched a new marketing campaign in order to attract tourists. The controversial campaign, aptly titled "Rape Capitol of the World", has already drawn outrage from nearly every human rights organization and country in the world. The campaign has received rave reviews in Japan, however.